Q: Is it considered creepy to heavily stalk someone’s public profile on a daily basis, even though you can easily friend them? -Anonymous
A: Let’s not play games here, Anonymous. You already know that heavily stalking someone’s public profile on a daily basis without being friends with them is considered creepy—the real question is whether it’s considered creepy enough for you to stop. In this situation, as Whitney says, it’s not right but it’s okay. I am giving you the green light to get your stalk on without the obligation of friending, and here’s why: anyone who is rolling with a public Facebook profile in the year 2009 deserves to have their shiz creeped on hard core because they are a fool. I don’t mean to be crass, but rocking a public profile these days is like two strangers meeting in a dark alley and promptly engaging in intercourse without so much as a piece of saran wrap between the two. In other words, having a public profile is a straight up health hazard. Public profiles tell the world one of two things about someone: a) they are not a real person or b) they are so lonely or naive that being stalked by thousands of strangers is a welcome alternative to whatever Facebook hell they’re presently living in. The bottom line here is that you’re just giving this person the attention they want, Anon, and there’s no reason to feel bad about it. Save your guilt and remorse for the things that really deserve them— like all those Honesty Box messages you sent out last night. Those you definitely need to repent for, creep-o.
Love,
Lauren
