Q: i look at other fb pages and they are pretty cool. mine is not. how can i jazz it up without totally living a lie? -Anonymous

A: I don’t know whose Facebook pages you’re perusing, but as far as décor goes, FB is pretty limited. Unless you want to clutter your page up with “Lil’ Green Patches” and “Pet Society,” you’ve gotta start enjoying the simplicity of the white and blue. MySpace pretty much quashed the beauty of background images; the second FB users are allowed to change their background from that pure, heavenly white to garish flashing gif’s that say “SEXY MAMA” in glitter, we’re bound to lose the classier folks who inhabit our Friends list. For now, let’s work on getting you a personality with which to spice up your bland page. Why not start out by flipping your TV to TBS and then listing whatever movie they are showing 24/7 as your favorite? After that, turn on the radio and write down whatever musical artists are being featured on the first station that’s not too static-y. After that’s taken care of, hop onto Amazon.com and see which books they are shilling today. Pop this info into your profile and soon enough, people will think you have interests. Jazz it up with an interesting photo of yourself in which you appear to have an expression of joy, and there you have it! Your profile will definitely look mediocre but at least people will think you are making an effort to fit in with the crowd—if all else fails, change your pic to an emo fairy and hop on board with “Zombie Wars” and take your downward spiral of a life into your own hands.

Love,
Lauren