Q: I recently did the app where it makes a cartoon of you.  I know its suppose to be a fun game, but I thought the picture was a little bland.  Do you think those pictures well represent people or is it suppose to make you look like a librarian. Thanks!  -Denise, Winterland Florida

A: Well, Denise, your first problem is that you consider a 5-second and useless Facebook activity a ‘fun game.’ That’s lame.  The ‘fun game’ as you put it isn’t supposed to make you look like a librarian, but it can only work with what’s it been given.   It looks like the fun game has forced you to take a good hard look at who you are on the inside and as it turns out, who you are on the inside is a boring person.  Bland. Not interesting. Unappealing as a conversational partner or friend.  You get my point.  You need to liven up D-dog, and the best way for you to grow a personality is to start drinking.  And guess what?!  Drinking comes along with its own set of fun games like Beer Pong, Never Have I Ever, Kings, and so many more!  Getting absolutely wasted will make you louder, funnier, and significantly cooler.  Drunkenly texting your entire phone book about last week’s bikini wax and falling asleep in a gutter is the best way to shake that librarian image for good.  So grab yourself a bottle of Grey Goose and get ready to learn what it feels like to be interesting to others.

Follow my lead and I guarantee you that the next time you try to create a cartoon version of yourself on Facebook, one of your amazing and cool new friends will knock the laptop from beneath your fingers and say: “Stop it, you’re being lame… Now come take a shot!”  Bottoms up, D!

Love,

Lauren