A: Dear facebook saviors
I have an annoying friend who is constantly sending facebook event invitations to things taking place in Boston. I live in New York (he knows this). How do I get him to stop without just straight up defriending him? -HELP ME OH GOD HELP ME SO ANNOYING GONNA KILL MYSELF IN 5, 4, 3, 2 1DEAD
I hear you, HELP ME OH GOD HELP ME SO ANNOYING GONNA KILL MYSELF IN 5, 4, 3, 2 1DEAD—Facebook event invitations to geographically undesirable locations are the worst. I get a bee in my bonnet if someone invites me to a birthday party in Queens, so I can only imagine how much repeated invites from Boston must grind your gears.
The only way to handle this (before resorting to a straight up un-friending) is to teach your buddy to be a bit more careful what he wishes for. The next time this loser invites you to a Boston-based event and you have oh, I don’t know, 7-10 days worth of free time, RSVP with a big old ATTENDING. Don’t contact him in any way outside of that, just write on the event wall that you ‘can’t wait!’ for whatever it is he’s deemed important enough for you to leave the tri-state area. When the event rolls around, show up at his doorstep with a full set of rolling luggage and a pillow and let him know you take your coffee black with two Splendas. Attend his little event, and then make yourself at home in this dude’s personal space for days. Spread out, leave your stuff all over, and pretty much fight every impulse to be a tolerable house guest. At the end of your visit—and when the law has granted you squatter’s rights—pack up your things and go. But before you head out, make sure to leave your friend a thank you note telling him how much you appreciate him letting you stay for all of that time and that you never would have been able to come to his show/party/lost cell phone number had it not been for his hospitality. Close the note by saying how much you look forward to his next Facebook event invitation. That invitation, my friend, will never, ever come. Have fun in Beantown!
Love,
Lauren
