Q: okay ladies, help me with this one! In a moment of benevolance (or outright lunacy), I let my mom look at my fb page, up until then, she had no idea about this site. Flash forward, she has her own page (snore). Not one to ‘share’, she never writes in it, however, she uses it as a way to access other sites, primarily mine!! I was smart enough to give ‘limited access’ to my page (how you gonna tell your momma you are not her ‘friend’?), and get this, she almost always leaves a comment. If I make mention that I am ‘out and about’, she writes something like ” how ‘bout finding time to come see your parents.” It gets worse, she has put pictures of me as a ‘neked’ baby for birthday announcements and she also comments on the slackers that are my (real) friends. AAARGH
I don’t want to give up a good home cooked meal and other benefits (shopping sprees, spa treatments), but this nosey nellie needs a life…her own! -Anonymous

A: Woah, woah, woah, Anonymous—what up with all the maternally-directed negative energy, yo?  Being Facebook friends with your mama je’e can’t be all that bad, especially since you’ve already got her corralled in the Limited Profile section of your life.  Sure, old people and uncles on Facebook can be a downer, but this is the woman who gave you life!  This is the woman who pushed you and your big ole head out of her special place, and you don’t think she’s good enough to comment on the fact that you are obsessed with Chuck Bass?  Did it ever occur to you that your mom might like you a little bit and—try not to freak out here—even love you?  Let your mamacita share her love (and naked pics) of you on the interwebs—after all you’ve put her through, she’s earned it.  All mommy really wants is to be included in your life, so be a good daughter and throw her a shout-out in your Facebook status every once in a while. Like Boyz II Men said, Mama is the queen of your heart, so let her be the queen B of your Facebook page too.  And okay, maybe yo’ momma does need a life outside of your FB comings and goings, but you know who wouldn’t have a life if it wasn’t for her? YOU! From where I sit, what you need is an attitude adjustment and two weeks with no TV or computer.  You know what, just for that little eye roll you can make that FOUR weeks, young lady.  Now go to your room.

Love,

Lauren