Q: I’m a closeted gay man at an Ivy League school. Some of my close college friends know about my sexual preference but my ultra religious family back home in the midwest doesn’t. I tend to make family members wait 1-2 weeks before I approve them or until I have the time to add them to the ‘family’ group & limit their profile. Is that wrong? Can facebook automatically make new friends limited profiles? I would hate for my Uncle Chip to see me with the hot law student @ Buzz… -Gay Ivy
A: Listen, G.I. (Gay), there is absolutely nothing wrong with putting your entire family on limited profile, but I can see where you’re coming from. You feel like you’re keeping secrets from the people you love, and that’s no fun. But think of it this way: if your mom were to see those pics of you dry humping a twink at the pride parade, she would have a heart attack. So really, you’re just protecting her from a major health crisis which actually makes you a really good son.
Facebook can’t automatically put new friends on limited profile, but if you’ve already got a ‘They Don’t Know I Like Dudes’ friends list brewing, keeping your same-sex secret from your fam should be pretty easy. The next time one of the Duggars aka your relatives requests the pleasure of your friendship, click ‘Add to List,’ select the customized list you’ve created for your family and voilà, no one in the flyover states has to know that ‘Adam Lambert’s sweet ass’ is your only interest. Please, please, please just make sure to double check all of your defenses every time you accept a new request. Being gay is totally cool, but being outed by Facebook is totally not. Glitches happen and mistakes are made, so unless you want your Uncle Chip finding out you like disco sticks via a tagged photo of you tonguing down a dude at Splash in his mini-feed, you gotta be on your game at all times. Eventually, you’re going to have to explain to your parents why you and your longtime ‘roommate’ only have one bed in your two-bedroom apartment, but until then take comfort in the fact that everyone has their secrets—especially that Uncle Chip…