Q: Lauren!  How do I tell my friends that it’s not necessary to tag me in my own pictures?!  Why do they have to be such fucking assholes all the time?!  I didn’t mean to swear. -Jessica Joy

A: Greetings, Jessica Joy! I have to say, for such a happy sounding name, you don’t sound too joyful.  That’s probably because your friends suck. JK… But they do. JK again, but not!  You know that old saying ‘you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose?’ Well, this right here is a case of you needing to pick new friends.  Something tells me that this little tagging situation isn’t the only thing bugging you about your GOF (group of friends).  Let me guess—they pop their collars don’t they? They refer to each other as ‘Broseph’ in public too, right?  These are all signs that they are douche bags, JJ.  But you know what? Being 100% Summer’s Eve doesn’t give them the right to breech the code of FB ettiquette.  Here’s what you need to do: sit those DBs down between keg stands and tell them that if they do not stop tagging you in your own GDMF pictures, you will be forced confiscate their Axe body spray, hair gel, and Ed Hardy trucker hats. If the potential loss of everything they believe in isn’t enough to make them stop, you can post a passive aggressive Facebook status saying ‘if I wanted to be tagged in my own pics, I would do it myself!’ or put that message in the info section of every photo album you post.  Those poor douches don’t know any better so it’s best to be direct and just hope they get the message.  Seriously though, find some new friends.

Love,

Lauren